Ever feel like you’re trying to learn a whole new language? We’ve got you covered.
The LGBTQ+ community is vibrant, diverse, and constantly evolving — and so is the language we use to talk about identity, gender, and sexuality. Whether you’re newly out, questioning, an ally trying to learn, or just curious about a word you saw on TikTok, this guide is here to help.
At FLAVNT, we believe in language that affirms, includes, and evolves. We also know it’s okay to mess up, learn, and grow — as long as you’re showing up with respect.
Why Language Matters
Keywords: LGBTQ+ terminology guide, queer identity terms, inclusive language LGBTQ
The words we use shape how we see ourselves — and how others see us. For queer and trans people, language can be:
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A tool of affirmation and self-discovery
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A way to find community
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A shield against erasure
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A way to push back against binaries and boxes
Knowing the right terminology isn’t about “sounding woke” — it’s about respect, clarity, and connection.
Key Terms and Definitions
This list isn’t exhaustive — and many terms mean different things to different people. But it’s a solid starting point.
Gender Identity Terms
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Transgender (or Trans): A person whose gender identity does not align with the sex they were assigned at birth.
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Cisgender (or Cis): A person whose gender identity matches their assigned sex at birth.
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Nonbinary: A gender identity outside the male/female binary. Can include agender, genderfluid, bigender, and more.
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Agender: Someone who doesn’t identify with any gender.
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Genderqueer: A catchall term for gender identities that fall outside the norm; some use it interchangeably with nonbinary.
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Genderfluid: A person whose gender identity changes over time or depending on context.
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Two-Spirit: A cultural identity used by some Indigenous people to describe a person with both masculine and feminine spirits. Not a universal term — and should only be used by Native/Indigenous folks.
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AMAB/AFAB: Assigned Male/Female At Birth — helps describe gender history without implying current identity.
Sexual Orientation Terms
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Gay: Typically refers to men attracted to men, but some people of all genders use it.
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Lesbian: A woman or nonbinary person who is primarily attracted to women.
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Bisexual: Attracted to more than one gender (not necessarily in equal measure).
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Pansexual: Attracted to people regardless of gender.
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Asexual (Ace): Experiences little or no sexual attraction.
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Aromantic (Aro): Experiences little or no romantic attraction.
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Queer: A reclaimed term used by many as an umbrella identity. Still considered offensive by some older generations — use with care.
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Questioning: Still exploring or unsure of their identity.
Pronouns and Name Terms
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Pronouns: Words like he/him, she/her, they/them, or neopronouns like xe/xem. Everyone has pronouns — it’s not just a “trans thing.”
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Deadname: A name a trans person no longer uses. Avoid asking or using it.
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Chosen name: A name someone chooses to reflect their gender and identity. Use it. Respect it.
Transition-Related Terms
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Social transition: Changing name, pronouns, presentation, etc.
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Medical transition: Hormones (HRT), surgeries, or other medical procedures.
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Top surgery: Chest masculinization or breast augmentation surgery.
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Bottom surgery: Genital-affirming procedures.
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Binding: Flattening the chest using a binder (like our Bareskin Binders).
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Tucking: Concealing external genitalia for a flatter front.
Remember: you don’t need to transition in any specific way to be valid.
Community Terms & Slang
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FTM/MTF: Female-to-Male or Male-to-Female. Still used in some medical contexts but increasingly being replaced by terms like “trans man” or “trans woman.”
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Stud/Butch/Soft Butch: Terms used by Black/Brown masc-presenting lesbians. Meaning and usage vary culturally.
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Femme: A person — of any gender — who presents or identifies in a feminine way.
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Masc: Short for masculine-presenting.
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T4T: Trans for trans — romantic or sexual attraction between trans folks.
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Ally: Someone who supports and uplifts the LGBTQ+ community — without co-opting space or identity.
Respect > Perfection
You’re not going to get it all right immediately — and that’s okay. What matters is:
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Listening when someone tells you how they identify
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Using the right name and pronouns (even when it feels “new”)
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Apologizing and correcting yourself when you slip up
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Being open to change — language evolves, and so do people
A Note on Intersectionality
Not all queer experiences are the same. Race, disability, class, body size, neurodivergence, and cultural background all shape how people identify and how they’re treated.
That’s why language like “QTPOC” (Queer & Trans People of Color), “BIPOC,” and “neurodivergent” show up often in queer spaces — they acknowledge layered experiences.
Final Thought: Language is Power — and Permission
Finding the right word to describe yourself? That can be life-changing. Having someone use it without hesitation? That can be life-saving.
We hope this guide helps you speak more clearly, support more deeply, and navigate the LGBTQIA+ community with respect and curiosity.
Got questions or want us to expand this guide in the future? Let us know. We’re always learning, too.